Let go of that which is most precious...

As most of you probably already know, last week I lost what was most precious to me in all of Alaska-- my best friend and canine companion Oban. 

Saying that he was an awesome dog is a grave understatement.  We had so many fun adventure together.

 

Sled-joring on the trail out of Tolovana Hot Springs

At the top of Donnelly Dome

What we originally thought was epilepsy turned out to be something much more serious, and his rapid and severe decline has left me blindsided. 

So, in surrendering to the reality that I really don't have control over things that I wish I did and in honor and memory of Oban, I've decided to let go of the one recipe that I've always kept secret-- Fudgie Wudgies.

Fudgie Wudgies on the Fudgie Wudgie plate I made 

specific to serve them on (with alternating oat and fudge

motifs around the rim)

I've always held this recipe secret so I can bake them as a birthday present or thank you gift for friends or use them as a trade.  And for certain friends, I've always felt like I've been hold the recipe back from them for their own good so they don't overdose on them.

I got this recipe during summer of 2000 when I was working at Toolik Lake a remote research camp on the North Slope.  I started my master's degree of thinking I wanted to be a plant community ecologist and spent the summer, as my sister described, watching the grass grow and quantifying it (though to be accurate, one of the main species we were monitoring Eriophorum angustifolim-- aka cottongrass-- is actually a sedge and not a grass).

As it turned out, what I'm really more interested in is ecosystem services-- so in fall of 2000, after spending 3 months at Toolik, I refocused my research to look at birch sap harvest. This has shaped much of my life since then.  Switching my research to birch was in line with one of my favorite quotes:

Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in Love in a quite 

absolute, final way.  What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, 

will affect everything.  It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, 

what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, 

whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy 

and gratitude.  Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.

--Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ

I had the opportunity to go back to Toolik last summer, 11 years later, to bring a group of high school student from the Rural Alaska Honors Institute on a field course.  It was neat to see how Toolik had changed and what was still the same.

When making this recipe, it's easy to switch out the flour for gluten-free flour (such as the Bob's Red Mill GF flour).  I always use real butter and not margarine, and often I use walnuts instead of pecans.